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What does DADT (Don't Ask, Don't Tell) mean?

Reviewed August 20, 2026

DADT — Don't Ask, Don't Tell — is a consensual relationship agreement where partners permit outside connections but agree not to share details. It is a boundary strategy, not a relationship identity.

Illustrative adults meeting at a jungle-themed social
Illustrative scene · Fictional adults

DADT sits at the far end of the transparency spectrum from full disclosure. A couple practicing DADT has agreed that outside connections are permitted, while some details remain unspoken. The boundary works only when both partners genuinely understand and accept it; the label must not be used to hide infidelity.

Some couples use DADT temporarily and others keep it as a long-term agreement. Each person still needs enough information to make informed health and consent decisions, and either partner must be able to revisit the arrangement.

JoinTheSwing offers private-profile, album-access, and Message-request controls. Those tools can support discretion, but they cannot confirm a partner's off-platform agreement or make secrecy ethical.

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