What does Relationship Anarchy mean?

Relationship anarchy (RA) is a relational philosophy, not just a relationship style. It holds that no relationship should automatically outrank another because of its label — a romantic partner does not inherently deserve more commitment than a close friendship; a long-term connection does not automatically supersede a newer one simply by virtue of duration. Each relationship is evaluated and structured according to what it actually is and what the people in it want.

RA practitioners often reject terms like 'primary' and 'secondary' partner because they find those hierarchies impose external scripts rather than reflecting genuine agreements. They also tend to reject the assumption that romantic and sexual connections should receive more care and investment than platonic ones.

In practice, relationship anarchy often looks like a network of deep, intentional connections across different relationship types — some romantic, some platonic, some sexual, some not — all given explicit care and attention. It requires strong communication skills and comfort with ambiguity.