What is the etiquette at a lifestyle club or event?

Lifestyle etiquette starts with the fundamental principle that every no is final and requires no justification. A couple who declines to engage further, a person who redirects a conversation, or a host who asks you to move to a different area all deserve an immediate, gracious acceptance. There is never a reason to push.

Reading social cues is a skill worth developing. When a couple is deep in conversation with each other or with another couple, that is not a good moment to approach. When couples are scanning the room, standing in a common area, and making eye contact with others, they are usually open to introductions. When in doubt, ask the host whether a couple has signalled openness to meeting new people.

Phone etiquette is strict at most lifestyle events. No photography of other guests without explicit consent. No identifying information (last names, workplaces, phone numbers) shared without both partners agreeing. What happens at the event stays at the event — that norm is enforced socially and sometimes by venue policy.

Introduce yourselves to the host early in the evening. Hosts invest significant effort in creating safe, welcoming spaces, and acknowledging that with a genuine greeting costs nothing. It also signals that you are socially engaged rather than just looking for opportunities.

On JoinTheSwing, event-specific etiquette notes appear on the Invitation listing. Hosts can specify their particular rules about photography, phone policy, attire in specific areas, and social norms for their specific event. Read these before you arrive.