What is a throuple?

A throuple is a committed romantic relationship involving three people who are all partners with one another. It is a form of polyamory, meaning the bonds are romantic and ongoing, not only sexual. All three people consider themselves part of a single relationship, built on the same foundations as any other: communication, trust, and mutual consent.

Is it thruple or throuple? Both spellings are used and they mean the same thing. ‘Throuple’ is the standard form — the dictionary entry records it as a blend of ‘three’ and ‘couple’ — and ‘thruple’ is a common variant, with ‘thrupple’ also recorded as an alternative spelling (Wiktionary). Use whichever you prefer; the word describes the same arrangement either way.

A throuple is distinct from a couple who occasionally invites a third person for shared experiences. In the lifestyle, a single woman who connects with couples is often called a 'unicorn', and that arrangement is usually recreational rather than a committed three-way partnership. A throuple, by contrast, is a relationship all three people are committed to maintaining over time, and it usually forms because all three want that commitment, not because a couple went looking for it.

Throuples take different shapes. In a 'triad', all three partners are romantically involved with each other; in a 'vee', one person is involved with two partners who are not romantically involved with each other. Everyday arrangements vary as much as the shapes do: some throuples share one home and one bed, others keep separate rooms or separate homes. There is no standard, only what the three people agree.

Like all ethical non-monogamy, a healthy throuple depends on explicit agreement, honest and frequent communication, and boundaries that everyone helps set. Jealousy, time and logistics are managed the way they are in any relationship: by talking openly rather than assuming, and by giving each of the three relationships inside the throuple its own attention.

For the difference between a unicorn and a throuple, and how throuples relate to polyamory and swinging, see the JoinTheSwing unicorn vs throuple guide and the ethical non-monogamy guide.